his_sarah_jane: (writing)
105. TEN things you would leave to your loved ones (and who they are) when you die.

1. [Milliways] To my dearest James, I would leave all my possessions to do with as you please. I would hope more than anything that you would keep my wedding band and engagement ring to remember what we once had. However, I am praying that my life with you will be just as it is in the movies: long lives for the both of us, seeing Valerie grow and find a family of her own, and that happy ending we both deserve.

2. [Milliways] To Valerie, my darling daughter, I don’t care how old you are when I pass, but more than anything I want you to have the stuffed owl my father gave me. It’s one of my most treasured possessions, aside from you and your daddy, of course. I’d also want you to have my TARDIS key and remember that not everything you read in a fictional novel is, indeed, fictional.

3. [Milliways] Sam: my death was not James’ fault so don’t you dare go blaming him for it. If Valerie ever comes into bar, I’m trusting you to look after her. In fact, I’ll leave you my camera as a sign of good will. Use it well, eh?

4. [Canon] Doctor, take care of K-9, will you? He’s been an amazing friend all these years. Thank you for leaving him to me. Also, make sure Mr Smith doesn’t cause any havoc please.

5. [Canon] My aunt passed on to me her home and I want to pass it on to you, Luke. I never thought I would have a son, let alone one as brilliant as you have been. I know you will take care of all those daft alien gadgets I have lying around. You’ll always make me proud.

6. [Canon] Maria: I want you to take the alien communicator the Starpoet gave me. I hope it’ll aid you in your own adventures some day.

7. [Canon] I guess I didn’t make it, did I Harry? Tell my aunt that I was working as a journalistic correspondent for UNIT and died well. If I can trust anyone to do that job, it’s you. The Doctor’ll probably just leave my body where it is. I never pictured him for the sentimental type. See that my belongings in my South Croydon flat are taking care of? And keep the typewriter for yourself. It’s an antique, but still works quite well. She’s always served me well, at least.

8. [Twood Hub, future] Ewan, leman, I know you’ll outlive me. I know that you will find new loves after me. But I do hope that you won’t ever forget me. There are so many things I could leave you – most of my belongings as you (and our children) are the closest I have to family here. I would, however, specifically leave to you keep that necklace you gave me after the twins were conceived.

9. [Twood Hub] Gethin Jones, if my death is any way connected to you, I’m coming back and haunting you. That aside, you see, you’ve become one of my best mates here in Torchwood. So I want you to have that strange looking burnt golden plant sitting on my desk. It’s from Delta Upsilon Nine. I tried to leave it with the Doctor, but he insisted he was better off alone. Talk to it; you’ll be surprised.

10. [Twood Hub] You took me in when I had been left behind, gave me a new career that eventually led me back to the one I adore, and introduced me to the man I love. I don’t know how to ever repay you, Jack, for everything that you’ve done. It’s been some life working for you. Thank you. In my flat, I have a thickly bound first edition copy of the Sherlock Holmes adventures. We went back to visit Arthur years after our first encounter and he presented it to me as a thank you for the inspiration. Enjoy, will you?
his_sarah_jane: (hmmph)
Sleeping on the couch.

She had stormed out of the bedroom that night, angry and in tears. Behind her, she could hear protests: words of anger followed by words of reconciliation followed by more words of anger. She had ignored them all. Absolutely furious, Sarah Jane Bond was. She had slammed the door behind her, loud enough to shake some of the books on a nearby shelf. Loud enough, also, to wake the sleeping five month old downstairs. Valerie’s cries had pierced Sarah’s heart. But as angry as she was, she couldn’t be bothered. James could deal with her. After all, Valerie was just as much his daughter as she was Sarah’s.

Tears had continued to blur her vision as she grabbed a blanket from a cupboard. She wiped at them feverishly as she stumbled down the stairs. Sarah couldn’t bring herself to sleep next to him that night. A part of her had wondered if she could ever bring herself to sleep next to him again. A man who accused her of such… of such things. A year: was that all this marriage had to it?

Upstairs, the baby still cried. She could hear two doors slam in short succession. Soon after, the crying stopped. For Valerie, anyway.

In the parlor by the front door to the townhouse, Sarah Jane made her bed on the couch. She pushed one of the day pillows against an arm. Then she collapsed on top of it, wrapping the blanket around her. As she stared at the quiet fireplace, her tears continued. The row hadn’t been their first. No, that very first one had been when they were only friends. Their second, or their first as a couple, had come a couple of months into their marriage. The pregnancy had stressed and stretched them much further than she thought.

Valerie had reconciled that one. Her birth had been a healing balm for the Smith-Bond family. Now, Sarah caught herself wondering if it was just the eye in the storm.

He had been in Milliways earlier. Somehow, someway, he had found out about a certain kiss that had occurred during the pub’s winter holiday season. It had been under the mistletoe. She was nearly nine months pregnant. His doppelganger, another James Bond from another universe, had been hard to resist. In the end, they had remained friends. Sarah Jane loved her husband far too much.

But said husband wouldn’t listen to her. She told him again and again that it meant nothing. That she had been angry with him at the time (he hadn’t been around, moving out to a hotel and spending his days avoiding her until their next row, which had nearly became violent). It had been before the slow healing process. It was a bloody, fucking kiss under the mistletoe.

And he was fucking jealous of something that meant nothing. Sarah Jane didn’t even know if she would ever see that James again. He had left to go back to his own world. Perhaps that was what allowed her husband entry to the pub again. Maybe all this was a big mistake.

She gave up her world for him.

She gave up the Doctor for him.

Anger still ate at her as she curled her knees to her chest and finally closed her eyes. The tears stained her cheeks as she began to drift off. The sleep was unpleasant, the couch only designed for short naps or lounging. Every now and then, she thought she had been awoken by Valerie’s shouts or a door closing.

When she awoke in the morning, Sarah Jane knew she could never sleep on that couch again. She’d bloody well move out first. That couch now held too many demons. All she wanted was to apologise. But Sarah knew herself to be too stubborn to actually do so. Instead, she found herself clutching the blanket tighter as she stared at the fireplace. Someone was awake. She could smell the freshly brewed tea from the kitchen. James wasn’t a huge fan. And, as it was weekend, there was no reason for May to be here.

At a loss, she did the only thing she could do. Sarah pulled herself from the bed, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders as a cloak. The nightgown was warm enough but she needed the comfort. Quietly, she tiptoed down another flight of stairs to the kitchen.

He was awake, moving about the kitchen in his boxers. So was Valerie, happily sitting in her high chair and making a mess of her banana mush breakfast, more of it on her pajamas than in her mouth. The spoon in her grasp was flinging food everywhere. From her position, blending against the dining room wall, she could see bits fling on to James’ blond hair. He wiped a splatter from his cheek, leaving the kettle to attend to the girl. Carefully, he took the spoon from her and began feeding Valerie her breakfast.

It made Sarah smile despite how angry she still was at James. This was, she supposed, what a family was about. Regardless, she couldn’t find the will to move away from the wall. It was James who had the first word, fifteen minutes later. She could not tell how long he had noticed her standing there. When he had begun to approach, somehow balancing Valerie in one arm and a mug in the other hand, she found herself frozen to the spot. His blue eyes were indistinguishable.

She was more frightened than she had been for a while.

“We were going to wake you,” he spoke quietly, almost barely audible above Valerie’s happy squeals at seeing her mummy. “I’ve slept on that couch before. It isn’t a pleasant experience.”

“No,” Sarah Jane agreed, her face and emotions guarded. If this was just leading to another row… she didn’t know if she could handle that. “It isn’t.”

He held out the tea mug to her. It took her a beat to accept it, but she did. Sarah took a small sip and smiled again. Earl Grey, with just enough milk and sugar. After all this time of living together, he had finally gotten it right.

“Darling, I…” James ran a hand through his hair, frowning a little when coming across banana bits. He was just as lousy at apologies as she was. She knew that. “No more kissing men that aren’t me. Even if they are in some damned Milliways way – that doesn’t count, Sarah. Even if we weren’t…”

She could hear the hesitation in his voice. She could hear the underlying message and fear. What if she found an attractive, stable man that could offer her more of a life? What if she left him for that? All the what ifs that never got vocalized. But they were there, as much as those of her own. What if he grew bored of being a father and a husband? Then what?

It was a bloody ridiculous marriage they had found themselves in a year ago. Neither of them were ready, let alone with a child on the way.

Watching him awkwardly try to apologise, Sarah remembered just again how worth it this all was.

So she nodded and gave him a soft, reassuring smile. “No more kissing men if not work related. I understand, James.”

His expression turned from rueful and serious to perplexed within instants. Sarah raised an eyebrow and smiled impishly. “As I’m not exactly in the same line of career as you are, I doubt it’ll ever come up. Still, fair is fair.”

“Not in this case,” he answered, sweeping her into a one armed hug. Valerie reached for Sarah’s hair, eyes still alight with joy. “No,” James began before kissing her, “more,” kiss, “James’.”

“And no,” kiss, “more,” kiss, “couches,” Sarah Jane agreed, finally resting her forehead against his. “Not for years.”

[ooc: based on events in milliways_bar]
his_sarah_jane: (flirty - self assured)
Seduction. Have you ever seduced someone or has anyone ever seduced you?

The first time they tried, Sarah complained of pains. It was April 13th, James’ thirty-ninth birthday and she had wanted so desperately to make it a night for the two of them to remember. They had taken Valerie to her first fancy restaurant (although, at about six weeks old, Valerie was mostly interested). Gifts had been exchanged. And after weeks of a strict exercise regime, Sarah had finally felt comfortable enough with her body to slip into a negligee and give James a show.

They had gotten as far as his hand groping past the panties before her abdomen began to ache. The rest of the night had been spent cuddling instead, telling each other stories of each other’s past and, of course, a midnight feeding for Valerie. All and all, it had been enough to tire the couple into sleeping as long the next morning as they would have had they made love the night before.

The next time came two weeks later. It was early evening on a Sunday that had been spent hard at work. Valerie had been shuffled between offices. Working at home, both James and Sarah found no reason to keep her in her nursery. She slept often, and even awake, Valerie typically was a quiet child. So, 6 p.m. found the Smith-Bonds all in bed, with the two older ones both reading. But reading quickly led to other things. A kiss here, a caress there, the loosening of pajama bottoms and tops. Quickly, what had started as innocent flirting led to passionate embrace. But before proper intercourse could occur, a baby’s cry from the intercom pierced through the pants and moans. It was over before it really began.

Sarah Jane was certain though that tonight would be the night. Everything had been planned. Despite her recent streak of late night hunger, Valerie had been awfully restless today. Hopefully it meant that she’d sleep through most of the night. Or, at the very least, wouldn’t wake her parents with slumber. Although a part of her told her the thought was in vain, she couldn’t help but wish. It had been far too long since she had last properly made love to her husband. She was randy, lusting after a man her body and daughter hadn’t quite allowed her to have. The fact that she hadn’t been alone with that feeling did not help at all.

While James was out with Valerie (a daily trip around Holland Park to expose the baby girl to the outside world), Sarah prepared dinner. She had wanted to spoil him tonight, to show him just how much she still loved him. Perhaps their separation had brought them closer together. Perhaps it had been Valerie’s birth. Or perhaps it had simply been because they had been trying to make their relationship work. Either way, all the effort had paid off. Sarah Jane had never felt more grateful.

Despite her labours in the kitchen, dinner had been a common enough event. Valerie napped upstairs as Sarah and James enjoyed the Sheppard’s Pie. Conversation was typical: how Valerie was doing, upcoming doctor’s appointments, the odd going-ons at Milliways (James still hadn’t bothered going back), whether it was too soon to take a family vacation for Sarah’s birthday in June, hypothesizing as to what sort of mission James would be sent on next. It was nice, comfortable. Yet, she couldn’t help but feel as if she was pressing her luck. Valerie had slept through out dinner.

James eventually slipped out for a couple hours: a drink with Felix Leiter that had been planned as soon as James had found out his friend was in town. Sarah Jane went about her own tasks for the evening: nursing Valerie, showering, working a little bit more before finally preparing the bedroom for her husband’s arrival home. The lights were dimmed and candles in thin, glass containers were softly glowing around the bed. Satin sheets replaced comfortable cotton and the musky scent of perfume filled the room. Sensual music played softly in the background. Rose petals were carefully scattered on top of the bed.

Her intent was for James to come home and find her in the center of said petals. She had on the skimpiest black negligee she owned – a new one that she had purchased simply for this occasion. It made her feel confident and embarrassed all at the same time. Sarah Jane only hoped that it made James lustful when he walked in. He had called fifteen minutes ago to tell her he was dropping Leiter off at the hotel. The American had apparently drunk far too much. He would be home any moment and everything was perfect.

He’d walk in and be swept off his feet. Sarah would stand and walk forward towards him. A foot away, she would place a hand on his chest. Then, she would tilt her head up and kiss him as she tried to remain in charge of the seduction. Maybe she would get rough and push him on to the bed where she could lean above him and do things that would make him purr. Clothes would be lost and then, finally, both would get what they wanted. She almost longed for this moment, wanting nothing more than to be connected to him as close as humanly possible. Her eyes closed as Sarah Jane smiled happily.

It would be perfect.

Five minutes later and James Bond did indeed return to his townhouse in Notting Hill. He entered the building quietly (if Valerie was sleeping, he didn’t want to wake her). His first stop was at the nursery to check on his sleeping beauty. James leaned into the crib and kissed her on the forehead before gently brushing back blonde curls from her face. He moved Teddy closer to her and smiled. Now it was time to find his other girl. When a glance into Sarah’s office revealed lights off and an empty room, he smirked in anticipation. Sarah had been far too eager to get him out of the house tonight. She was planning something.

James loosened his tie as he walked into the room. His eyes quickly fell on Sarah, there in the center of the bed and glowing in the candle night. She was gorgeous, he thought. Absolutely ravishing. The tie dropped to the floor as he took another step forward. He sat at the edge of the bed, watching her for a few minutes more. Eventually, he caressed her cheek, rubbing the soft skin with his thumb. If he was disappointed, James certainly didn’t show it. He could see how hard she tried. Tonight, he found himself watching a sleeping beauty more beautiful than he could remember.

It was dull and domestic but he didn’t care. They had the rest of their lives for passionate and wild seductions. Until then, he was content to kick off his shoes and crawl into bed next to her. In the morning he would tell her that his next mission had come sooner than either expected – Leiter needed help with a case of his. For now, James would only wrap her in his arms and bury his face in her hair.

“Soon darling,” he whispered. “I promise that, Sarah.”

[ooc: based on milliways_bar]
his_sarah_jane: (flirty)
070. TEN kisses.

1. Paul McCrimmon: He was my first ‘romantic kiss’. I was four and he was six and we lived next door to each other in Liverpool. He kissed me. And then I kicked him into the mud. Mum didn’t know whether to laugh or scold. Paul did, though: he laughed and, after standing, pushed me in to the mud as revenge.

2. Andrew Lofts: He was my first proper boyfriend and my first proper fiancée. Our first kiss was at a party my first year at uni. For a short time, it was the start of a terrific relationship. Sadly, I cannot say the same to its ending.

3. Harry Sullivan: Kisses with him have always been of the utmost platonic manner. We were never meant to be anything more than friends, even if I do expect him of carrying a short torch during our times travelling together.

4. If I could remember one thing from my childhood, it would be what hugs and kisses from my parents were like. I knew they loved me, I can remember that much. But the memory of their touch has been long lost in the past few years.

5. The Doctor (Four): It might be silly, but I prefer his hugs more than anything else. There is certainly something about being wrapped up in his arms, the way I always feel dwarfed and safe when he does. I know perfectly well that a woman does not need a man to feel safe. I am, after all, a steadfast believer in this idea. But there’s something about the Doctor, about his awkward kisses and warm hugs, which always seems to do the trick. (Theatrical Muse)

6. James Bond: Our first kiss took me by surprise. I didn’t suspect for a moment that James harbored feelings for me. I didn’t ever suspect that, when I cornered him in our shared flat to discover just why he was being so cold, he would kiss me in response. I never suspected how much I’d bloody enjoy that kiss or what it would lead to.

But my favorite kiss with him will always be the one he gave me after Valerie was born. It was brief – perhaps the briefest of all due to our mutual desire to watch our baby sleep – but it was promising. It was tender and loving and apologetic. It was beautiful. (Milliways.)

7. Valerie Bond: Holding and kissing your baby for the first time, knowing she’s real and yours – there’s nothing else like it. (Milliways.)

8. Simon Skinner: I don’t know if we quite knew what we were doing. I sometimes suspect that we still don’t know what we’re doing. It’s absolutely daft, considering our ages – we’re far too old to be having a fling like this. Even if it has become love, I still don’t know if it is wise. But, at the moment, I couldn’t imagine having anyone else fill his place in my life. (Mixed Muses.)

9. Sam Linnfer: Really isn’t what you’d expect. (Milliways.)

10. James Bond: It was Christmas time in Milliways and we got caught under the mistletoe together. For the record: it meant nothing. We’re only friends. I am married, after all. That doesn’t change the fact that, like my husband, he certainly knows what he’s doing when it comes to such matters. (Milliways.)

---
Muse: Sarah Jane Smith
Fandom: Doctor Who
his_sarah_jane: (i want to cry)
"There's enough sorrow in the world, isn't there, without trying to invent it." --E.M.Forster, A Room With A View.

She had thought that all of the bad parts of her life were over. She had thought that coming here, that giving up her old life – that all of that signified the start of something new. She had thought that things would be different this time. She didn’t think it could happen again. She didn’t think she was capable of losing anybody else.

But there it was, in black and white. She held the paper in her hand. She saw the look on Villiers’s face. He was always so transparent with emotions. Always. In the three years of being married to James, he was the only other MI-6er she had truly gotten to know. Perhaps it was because of their shared knowledge of Milliways. Or perhaps it was because he often times seemed the most human of the lot. Either way, he had been the one selected to tell her the news.

After three years of marriage, she was a widow. Despite his promise of being home in time for their daughter’s third birthday, he never would be home. He would never be home again.

She stared blankly as Villiers continued. She was certain that a good half of what he was saying was MI-6 propaganda. Not quite the same speech they gave all the widows (after all, a spy’s profession was secret), but something close. That he was a good man. That he had served his country and queen well. That he had been a loyal and valuable employee. That they were sad to see him go. The only part that possibly seemed real was his sympathy.

But Villier’s had never really lost anyone he loved. He didn’t understand how difficult it was. She had lost her parents, she had lost her best friend, and in a lot of ways, she had lost her world. But she had never expected to lose her husband, despite his career. It simply never happened in the films. James Bond always escaped, always lived, always got the girl in the end. How could he leave the girl behind? How could he leave her behind?

“Sarah?” Villiers placed a hand on her shoulder. “Are you all right?”

She shook her head, unable to speak. All her vocalizations were trapped in her head. The only nose she could utter was a broken heated sob. He was gone. Yet another person she loved had died before her and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.

Except for one thing. )

[based on events in [livejournal.com profile] milliways_bar]
his_sarah_jane: (sarah/james - snuggling)
Two weeks have passed since Sarah and Valerie had returned from the hospital. It had been a lovely two week, really. James would go to work in the morning, kissing his girls goodbye as they slept. Sarah, after finagling a deal with her boss, would do her work at home. Restlessness would get to her quickly though and she'd often wind up in Milliways for breaks.

It really had been a lovely two weeks. Valerie and James went on their first father-daughter outing. Sarah had appointed John godfather to her daughter. Really, the past two weeks had been lovely. A perfect start to their little family.

That is, until five nights ago.

Five nights ago, Valerie had discovered a new game. She was generally a quiet and wide-eyed child. She'd cry mostly for food or for a diaper change. Occasionally, it was for attention. But for the first four days, she had kept to crying during the day.

Five nights ago, it all changed.

The hallway clock chimes loudly, but not nearly as loud as the cries echoing through the baby monitor. Sarah Jane stirs in her sleep, snuggling up against the man beside her. An arm flings outward as she tries to ignore the cries. Maybe if she hid her head, they'd go away.
his_sarah_jane: (sleeping)
She had received a text mere hours before. James was on his way home from his unknown destination and Sarah Jane had been more than eager (and more than nervous) to see him again. Maybe they could finally talk. Maybe they could finally figure things out. Maybe they could act like the mature adults they were supposed to be.

But fate, it seemed, had other plans.

In the midst of working on last minute preparations on Valerie's room, her water broke. Eleven days earlier than expected, Sarah and James' daughter was too impatient to wait any longer. Sarah panicked. Now she was on the way to the hospital and terrified that James might not get back at time. No matter what state their relationship was in, she wanted him to be here for this.

By the time the car service pulled in, Sarah Jane felt exhausted already. After reception and the like, she was shown to a room. The nurse reassured her that it would only be a matter of time now, that everything would be okay. But after a visit from Dr Ross minutes later, Sarah wasn't certain that everything would be okay after all. The umbilical cord whad slipped in to the birth canal ahead of Valerie. There would have to be surgery.

The nurse went out to attempt to call James again as another began to prep Sarah Jane.
his_sarah_jane: (sarah/james - the other one)
Four

It had become her favorite thing to do lately. There was something soothing about showing off her daughter to others. In holding the girl and reminding herself again and again that, despite all the hardships, she could almost feel calm. Despite the fact that she had her father’s colouring, Sarah found that taking care of her daughter was an amazing escape. She could forget and she could be happy.

Four weeks after the first time she had brought Valerie to the bar, Sarah Jane was back yet again. She’d come here at least twice a week, hoping to run into someone who hadn’t yet met Valerie Bond. In Sarah’s opinion, her daughter was absolutely perfect. Valerie had her mother’s nose and face, and even if those startling blue eyes hurt to look at times, Sarah was utterly in love.

Today really was no different than the others. After ‘work’ (still on maternity/medical leave, she did her writing at the house), she came to Milliways for dinner. With a mortgage still to pay, a cat to take care of, and a child to nurture, it was cheaper to eat on a tab than pay for actual groceries. With Valerie in her pram, she was able to sit at the bar tonight to enjoy her cheeseburger. As she ate, she gently rocked the pram and watched her daughter sleep. Sarah was rather preoccupied tonight. She didn’t even notice the gentleman sit down on the other side of Valerie.

“You have quite the beautiful child,” the man spoke with a gentle accent. “How old is she?”

Sarah Jane looked up from her meal, momentarily taken by surprise. He looked so very, very familiar. She blinked, frowning as she looked him over. When had he come back? “Simon?”

“Pardon?”

“Simon Skinner?” Sarah shook her head. She couldn’t understand why he looked so confused. “I know it’s been a while, but… well, aren’t you?”

“No,” he answered rather frankly. “The name’s Bond. James Bond.”

“No you’re not.”

The man laughed, giving her a look of amazed puzzlement. “I’m not?”

“You most certainly are not,” Sarah responded sharply. “I married the man, you see. And he left me and my daughter the moment this new life got too difficult for him. I know James Bond all too well and you’re not him.”

Sarah crossed her arms over her chest as she stared at him, almost daring him to respond. She couldn’t believe this stranger or Simon, whoever he was, had the bloody cheek to come up to her and claim to be James Bond. After everything she had gone through (and Sarah was more than certain that by now, the whole bar proper knew her saga), this was far on the bottom of the list of things Sarah Jane wanted to deal with.

But she hadn’t expected the man’s reaction. He looked at her curiously before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out an ID card. He slid it on the bar surface before reaching in to stroke Valerie’s hair. At first, Sarah’s heart skipped a beat as she worried that he may harm her. She was ready to yell until she saw the look on his face. It was that of regret and sorrow. Almost as if he had lost someone important to him, too. Valerie’s only reaction to the new hand was a gentle and dreamy sigh. Semi-confident that her daughter was safe, Sarah Jane reached for the ID.

And then, she nearly fainted when she saw the name.

“Her name is Valerie,” she whispered, still in a sort of shock. It was shock accompanied by heart ache accompanied by a sort of odd, desperate hope. Sarah had absolutely no idea what to make of this encounter at all. “Valerie Charlotte Bond.”

The man - James - looked up at Sarah, moving his hand away from Valerie to pick up the card and slide it back in his wallet. The haunted look had been replaced by a more stoic one, but nothing nearly as stoic as she had ever seen on her James’ face. Still, staring at him was enough to bring tears to her eyes. It had seemed like so long since her last cry over this whole mess. Sarah felt ridiculous crying in front of a man she never met.

But, as he got up from his barstool to wrap her in a gentle hug, she found herself not caring at all. She suddenly felt something she hadn’t in months: a glimmer of hope that she only prayed wasn’t misplaced. It was glorious and painful all at the same time.

Eventually, they pulled apart. James reached for a napkin from the counter and gently wiped her eyes. She smiled awkwardly in return, feeling bashful and silly all at the same time.

“I’m Sarah Jane,” she whispered, unable to break gaze from his eyes. Sarah didn’t believe in love at first sight, but right now, she wondered if anything was really possible. “It’s… it’s rather nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” he replied softly. James nodded to her previously abandoned meal. “Is company at all welcomed?”

“I’d love it.”

[ooc: based on events in milliways bar. also, random trivia knowledge also inspiring prompt: timothy dalton bond = the fourth bond.]
his_sarah_jane: (pensive)
What do you live for?

It was Valentine’s Day. Like every Valentine’s Day in the past, Sarah Jane found herself alone. Previously, it never came as a surprise. Sarah was never good at keeping relationships. The only Valentine’s Day she ever spent as half of a couple was back in university, when she was still with Andrew. This year, though, she had hoped it would be different. After a wonderful Christmas and an even better New Year’s with James, she had found herself almost looking forward to the next holiday.

Except today was that day. Lunch hour had been very much spent eying happy couples in O’Neill’s. When Susan received a bouquet of flowers from her fiancée, Sarah couldn’t help the twinge of resentment. Then, when the work day was done, she felt absolutely no need to go home. Like always, she took the tube to Holland Park. But instead of turning the corner towards home, she found herself wandering towards the nearby park instead.

The bench was cold. There was frost in the damp air, and she found herself shivering the moment she sat. Sarah knew she couldn’t stay out here for long. It wouldn’t be fair to Valerie. But she didn’t want to go back to that empty town house yet. Not on today.

Ever since their row two weeks ago, Sarah had found herself living more and more for her unborn daughter and less and less for herself. It was quite the contrary to the woman she was a year ago, before stumbling upon Milliways and before meeting James. Back then, she had lived primarily for herself and for life. She lived her life in memory of a dead friend who had, in death, showed her just again how flipping important it was to make every moment count. It was her little secret. She never discussed it. She never found the need as long as she remembered to value life itself.

And look where it had gotten her. She hadn’t listened to reason in coming to Milliways. She knew perfectly well what a place like this was capable of. Now, Sarah Jane had to live with the consequences. But those consequences seemed to be more than she can handle. For the first time since she was thirteen, life seemed too overwhelming, too difficult for her to deal with. Sarah couldn’t comprehend a future alone in a world and a time that wasn’t hers.

For a brief second after the fight, Sarah had wished for Valerie’s death. If she didn’t have this child, she could go back and pretend that nothing odd ever happened. The second after that, she felt repulsed. What sort of mother was she? The tears came with no one to comfort her. She whispered apologies to her baby again and again. And, after that, Sarah Jane shut down. She went by the motions and little else. Anything more seemed like a reminder of her loss.

She sat in the park, watching people – couples and families – go by. She had hoped to give Valerie everything she never had: the proper family, the home, the pets, at least one parent who would be by her side throughout the girl’s life. But without a husband and an extra income, that dream had shattered. Sarah couldn’t raise a daughter on a journalist’s income. And that truth hurt as much as losing James ever could.

Her world had shattered. Sarah Jane had been abandoned once again. She had been abandoned by the Doctor – who she was certain still wouldn’t properly speak to her. She had been abandoned by her husband – she had no right to hold him to a life he abhorred, after all. While she clung to hope that James would come back, she couldn’t find the energy to remain optimistic. In fact, the only person who hadn’t abandoned her, the only person she couldn’t help but wish would was her daughter. Valerie was helpless in all this. In less than three months, she would be born to a world that Sarah had never quite viewed as dark and dismal before.

With her life as mucked up as it was, Sarah could only find one thing left to live for. Valerie didn’t deserve any of Sarah Jane’s problems. It took a horrible fight for Sarah to realize just how much her life wasn’t her own anymore. She couldn’t be that carefree, reckless girl. She couldn’t live life only for herself and her own happiness. Valerie deserved more: she only deserved the best.

And Sarah Jane would try damn hard to give that to her.

[based on roleplay at [livejournal.com profile] milliways_bar]
his_sarah_jane: (you arse!)
Which food would you never even try to taste? What food will you never eat again?

“Your four months now, darling,” Sarah Jane murmured to the baby girl in the high chair, trying her best to keep frustration out of her voice.

If her daughter noticed it, she didn’t give any indication. Instead, Valerie simply gurgled happily and reached her arms out towards Sarah. Her blue eyes shined happily, rather much reminding Sarah of a certain husband who wasn’t exactly around at the moment to help with this task. Work he said, even on a bank holiday, thus leaving her home alone with their child. Bloody spies, she decided, the lot of them. Sarah Jane was certain that, in the end, he simply didn’t want to be around for the mess she was certain would follow trying to feed Valerie semi-solid food for the first time.

“Four months,” she continued, leaning forward to plant a light kiss on top of pale blonde hair. “That means it’s time for something other than Mummy’s milk. Cauliflower cheese. Doesn’t it sound wonderful?”

Valerie shook her head as Sarah held the Cow and Gate jar in front of her. It didn’t look all that horrible in Sarah’s opinion. Certainly something she would never want to eat herself. But for baby food from the nearest Tesco, it did seem like the best choice to start out with. Even if it looked like a horrible grey-tan mixture, the baby on the outside of the jar seemed happy enough. A simple vegetarian meal seemed like the perfect place to start in Sarah’s opinion.

Apparently, Valerie had different ideas considering the way she currently used the bowl placed in front of her as a drum. At least it was a step up from ramming away on a keyboard again.

Sarah opened the jar, wrinkling her nose slightly at the odor that filled the room. Well, it didn’t smell all that horrible. Just a bit off was all. She walked over to the cabinet to grab another bowl. She knew from experience when to fight with Valerie and when not to. Sometimes she wished her daughter wasn’t so stubborn. But looking at the girl’s parents, Sarah Jane knew it was a rather vain wish to come true.

After a fourth of the jar was scooped in to the small bowl, she returned to Valerie’s high chair. The girl was still banging away at the bowl, smiling silly at her mother. It earned a slight grin from Sarah before she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and wished for the best. The child’s spoon in her hand was decorated with little green men and moons very much like Valerie’s bowl was – something she had picked out as a joke. So far, it hadn’t been as distracting as she hoped.

“Well, I suppose we ought to start sooner or later,” Sarah told Valerie as she dug the spoon into the glob of mashed cauliflower mix to retrieve a small scoop. She wrinkled her nose once again at the smell and then held it by Valerie’s mouth. It was met with a frown and another head shake that led to more giggling from the baby and a sigh from its mother.

“Don’t you want to impress Daddy when he gets home with your new ability?”

As Valerie’s fist went flying into the spoon causing the mush to go flying into Sarah Jane’s hair, she realized that was a no. After the second and third and fourth attempt, there was still very little food on Valerie’s face. There was, however, tan-grey substance all over Sarah’s shirt and the table in front of them.

Valerie only giggled. Sarah Jane sighed, feeling almost defeated. This was impossible. In fact, the only way she could possibly think of in getting Valerie to eat something would be to try it herself. She feared the idea. The food already smelled horrible enough. She couldn’t imagine just how bad this cauliflower and cheddar cheese concoction would taste.

With a sigh, she dipped the spoon in to what remained in the bowl. She held it out towards Valerie (which was received by more shaking of the head) before turning the spoon around and slowly lifting it up to her own mouth. Thankful that James wasn’t around to witness this, Sarah Jane stuck the spoon in her mouth and swallowed.

It took everything in her power not to gag or grimace. Wasn’t the point of this suppose to be that of slowly weaning her child off of breast milk and towards an appreciation of actual food? This? Was absolutely, positively horrid. She never, ever wanted to taste anything like it again. When it came time for the fruity bean and beef hotpot jar she had in the cabinet, James would be in charge of trying to get Valerie to eat.

Never, ever again.

“See?” she said, nearly a full minute after trying to deal with the horrible aftertaste the baby food left in her mouth. “It was absolutely delicious. Now it’s your turn, Valerie.”

But all Valerie did when the spoon reached her mouth was shake her head and bang on her bowl some more. Sarah Jane sighed, truly defeated by a four month old this time. It was humiliating, but she didn’t care. After all, nothing could ever possibly be worse than having to sample baby food. She never ever wanted to do that again.

Poor James Bond had absolutely no idea what he was in for when he came home that evening to a jar of cauliflower cheese and a very innocent looking mother and daughter set. At the very least, making her husband share in her pain was as sweet as anything Sarah Jane had ever tasted.

[follow-up]
his_sarah_jane: (embaressed)
Poker

“Hah! Oh, I told you that I’d win at least one round, didn’t I?”

Sarah Jane giggled, tossing a handful of popcorn at her husband. Tonight was a night in. James had just gotten back from a mission in Belize two days ago. Between mild injuries, exhaustion, paperwork, and extensive time at the office, they hadn’t had a chance to catch up until now. Valerie had been put to bed only minutes before, far past her bedtime. She had been too excited to have Daddy home than to actually agree to sleep.

And now, it seemed, that the only thing left to do was to have share a bottle of cheap wine and popcorn (“See the sorts of things that happen when you go away, James?” Sarah had teased earlier) as they vainly attempted to take the mickey out of each other in a game of poker. Not for the first time, the bed was ignored for sake of the floor. Neither had any need to properly act their age; they were far too happy acting as randy and silly as a teenage couple in love.

“This means you have to remove an article of clothing now,” she continued, beaming. By now, she had already lost both socks, her blouse, and her skirt. If she hadn’t been so used to consistently winding up in this position when playing poker against her husband, Sarah would be rather embarrassed. “And it better be something significant, James. You’ve already seen far too much of me for the night.”

“I’d prefer to think that it isn’t enough,” James replied as he stood and tugged at the fly of his trousers. A second later and his pants were flung across the room, landing somewhere between the bed and a dresser. He smiled at her and Sarah Jane nodded her approval. While he still had his boxers on, it had been far too long since she had seen any bit of him unclothed. “In fact, I am rather ashamed to have lost that round.”

“Well, I’m not. It’s about time I beat you at this game. It’s only taken me…how many tries?”

“Too few, I’d say.” He sat back down across from her, leaning in for a quick kiss before shuffling and dealing the cards. “I had been hoping to…win a few more rounds before letting you have one.”

Sarah Jane laughed from behind her cards, organizing them carefully. “Perhaps I’ve gotten tired of having to strip you after the game. It’s rather difficult, you know. What with your hands roaming and all.”

She threw a couple of chips into the mound in the middle. The rules of this game were simple enough. Standard hold’em in which the loser of each round had to remove another layer of clothing while the winner of the pot decided just how they would be making love that night. Cheating was more than allowed. Usually, the game never lasted that long as one or both of them wound up losing control and their hand at the same time.

It had been something they started while Sarah Jane was still pregnant (and rather sex crazed) with Valerie. It had become a tradition to play their private game of strip poker whenever James returned from an assignment.

“Yet you manage,” James responded, meeting and raising her bet. “I haven’t had any complaints, darling.”

Sarah snorted, shaking her head. “You wouldn’t! You never, ever have any complaints about sex, James Bond. Don’t even deny it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” he said with a chuckle. For a man who used to think that making love to only one woman for the rest of his life would become rather dull easily, he had grown rather used to it instead. Their marriage was going on four years now and so far he didn’t have a single regret.

“I could give you something else to dream about instead.” She smiled seductively as she stretched out a leg to tickle the sole of his foot. There was no way that she would win this game, meaning that there was nothing left to lose. “Something that would, I believe, satisfy your sexual fantasies for the year.”

His eyes were now trained on her body instead of her face, exactly where she wanted them to be. They had shaded a darker blue, a clear sign of his attraction and a perfectly good start to her distraction. Sarah Jane moved her toes up his leg, scattering cards and poker chips as she does. She giggles for a second before she moves her leg back underneath her to kneel. Sarah leaned forward, making sure that he got a good view of her breasts before crawling forward. There was another giggle – Sarah Jane always had trouble properly seducing him – before capturing his lips with hers.

Soon enough, James had pushed her back onto the carpet. The poker chips and cards pressed in to her back, but the way his body loomed over hers had set aside all any comfortless. Her heart pounded in her chest with anticipation as a heat radiated between them. James tilt his head down to kiss Sarah again. To kiss and kiss and kiss until:

“Daddy? What are you doing to mummy?”

As per usual, Sarah Jane and James had kept their bedroom door opened in case Valerie woke up in the night crying. She had been suffering from a string of nightmares lately, much to both parents’ dismay. The only thing they could do was pay attention to their daughter until they found out what it was exactly that was causing them. They hadn’t actually ever expected her to wander in to her room, especially after she had been sound asleep.

Nearly simultaneously, James sat up as Sarah pulled away, reaching for her blouse to cover herself as well as possible. Both wore identical expressions of guilt and amusement. Wincing for a moment, she pulled her shirt back on, very grateful that her bra or knickers hadn’t been removed as well. They already had enough explaining to do as it stood.

While Sarah reached for her skirt, James had already stood and walked towards Valerie. He smiled down at his daughter, ruffling her blonde hair before he hoisted the three year old upward and rested her on his hip. He kissed her forehead and she giggled.

“What have we said about knocking?”

“The door was open,” Valerie replied with a sleepy yawn, resting her head against her father’s shoulder. “An’ I heard noises. If you and Mummy are up, I wanna be too. Whatcha doing?”

“Oh, darling,” Sarah Jane murmured as she joined the rest of her family, now fully clothed. She stood next to her husband as she stroked the girl’s hair. “You’re still far too young for a proper answer of anything more than playing a game. A game for mummies and daddies, Valerie.”

“There is cards on the floor,” she said, glancing downward and pointing accusingly. “That’s a me game!”

James rolled his eyes when Valerie wasn’t looking, smiling awkwardly at Sarah. It was a look of ‘how do we explain this one?’ and a look both Bonds were used to sharing. When she only smiled back, he knew it was his turn to deal with it. Sarah Jane owed him and for more than her original idea of that ajar door.

“It’s, er. …it’s way past your bedtime, love. We’ll discuss this tomorrow.”

“You still awake! An’ I miss you,” Valerie answered brightly, giving her father a hug and a sloppy kiss on a cheek. “I want to know.”

“No.”

“Daaaaaddddddyyyyyyy.”

“Valerie,” he answered, staring at her warningly. “What have we said about whining?”

“That only silly people do that,” she responds with a giggle.

Behind her, Sarah Jane raised an eyebrow of doubt. She had missed this life lesson apparently. James shrugged, adjusting the girl in his arms. Perhaps it was time to let Sarah Jane do the rest of the explaining. He hoisted Valerie into his wife’s arms, flashing her a loving grin. Her turn.

“And if you promise never to say that again, no matter what Daddy says,” Sarah stated, still eying James when not smiling at her daughter, “we’ll let you spend the night in our room and play Go Fish in the morning.”

Valerie shifted in her arms to look at James with wide blue eyes. “Really?”

He sighed, nodding. It was clear from the look on Sarah’s face that this wasn’t exactly how she had planned to spend his first real night back home either. This was not the first time such homecoming plans had been cancelled; it had been like that ever since she was born. And, of course, both were sure that this was not the last.

“Really.”

Sarah smiled when it was her turn to receive the sloppy kiss. She kissed her forehead in return before placing Valerie on the bed. For a moment, Sarah Jane stood there and watched as Valerie crawled towards the middle, absolutely determined to be stuck between her parents. When an arm snaked across her back, she looked up and smiled. There was a quick peck between them before Sarah decided on resting her head on his shoulder.

“Tomorrow,” she whispered as Valerie began to fall asleep. “I promise. Your fantasy of the year.”

James shrugged, squeezing her hand. “I think I’ve already found it. Surprisingly, it doesn’t seem to involve sex or cards.” Beat. “Thank you, Sarah. It has been a wonderful, if not unconventional, homecoming.”

[ooc: based on role play in [livejournal.com profile] milliways_bar]
his_sarah_jane: (smith-bond family)
Board Games Prompt – Choose one of the popular board games listed, and write a prompt somehow based on the game, it’s name or something related to it: Candyland

“Mummy, look what D’Argo lent me!”

That was the greeting that Sarah Jane came home to that one unsuspecting Tuesday evening. It had been a long day at the Globe and, in all honesty, all she had wanted was a warm cuppa accompanied by a snuggle on the couch with her husband. Domesticity, while still not entirely their lifestyle of choice, sometimes did seem like the proper path to follow for an hour or two. What she hadn’t wanted was a rather energetic five year old daughter begging for ‘quality time’ with her parents.

Apparently it was all the rage in the Sun-Crichton household according to Valerie, even if Sarah did have her doubts.

“…an’ Uncle John says that every Thursday, he and Auntie Aeryn and D’Argo and that grey girl go an’ meet in Pilot’s chambers and play a board game. It’s family bonding time and he says it’s loads of fun! And D’Argo even agreed! An’ then he gave me this and said he’s outgrown it but I think he’s lying because Uncle John was smiling a lot when he gave it to me. And Daddy says never to trust Uncle John when he smiles.”

There was a small pause in the long-winded explanation as the girl wrinkled her brow. “I think Daddy says I’m not supposed to trust him at all. But you do. An’ I like playing on Moya . Even when you and Daddy scold me for sneakin’ into Milliways without permission.”

Which, it had seemed, Valerie had apparently done today. Sarah reminded herself to have a talk with Nanny Williams about keeping a closer eye on the girl. Thankfully, the woman only babysat at a minimum now that Sarah Jane’s schedule was more closely adjusted to school hours. The last thing she really needed to happen was to have a perfectly down to earth and logical, no-nonsense woman discover a pathway to the end of the universe. Or find out why exactly Valerie had such an obsession with watching Doctor Who.

“Can we play, then? Please? I promise I won’t go into Milliways anymore without you or Daddy if we can play. No matter how much Allana wants to.” Valerie looked up at her mother with wide blue eyes. In so many respects, she was clearly her parents’ daughter. Sarah Jane doubted that promise in its entirely. She had made too many similar ones to her aunt when she was a child.

“All right,” Sarah finally conceded. She accepted the game box with only a small sigh. To her credit, she kept the sardonic grin off her face. She was certain that John had put both D’Argo and Valerie up to this. Candyland wasn’t exactly the sort of game she ever had interest in playing, even as a kid of Valerie’s age. She could only imagine James’ reaction when he found out.

---

“Sarah, she had gone into Milliways without our permission again. We shouldn’t be humouring her with a game night. Otherwise, she’ll keep doing it.”

As expected, James was less than thrilled at the idea of a family round of Candyland. Sarah Jane was certain that she would face the same reaction with any sort of game board suggestion. He wasn’t the type to sit about a table and play a game designed for those a fifth of his age. For that matter, Sarah wasn’t that sort of person either. But Valerie had her heart set on this. She had a hard time saying no, even if it was the proper decision.

Sarah shrugged, resting her head against James’ shoulder. Valerie was in the room she shared with her adoptive sister, playing with her toys before dinner. Allana wouldn’t be home for another week yet, away in her own universe for Force training. This gave Sarah Jane ample time to talk with her husband as they waited for food to arrive. As they had both worked late, ordering in seemed like their best bet. No one in the Smith-Bond family ever complained about a posh, well-cooked meal. And time without daughters running afoot was more the necessary at times.

“In her defense, she did promise never to go there without us again.”

“Sarah…” She could just picture James sighing patiently beside her. “She’s our child. One promise will be broken just as easily as the last one. Where did she get that bloody game in the first place?”

“D’Argo.”

This time, James’ sigh was rather audible. He was irritated and hiding it. It seemed as if Sarah Jane wasn’t the only one who had a long day at work. Either that, or too much time had passed since his last investigation. Sarah was guessing a mixture of both. John should have known better than to tempt Valerie like this. The prospect of proper domesticity didn’t help his mood at all. Sarah knew that he loved their family. But both were rather unconventional in expressing that love.

“Darling, it’s just a game. One round and then, maybe, she won’t disappear to Milliways for another week.” Sarah lifted her head up to smile at him, a similar pleading glint in her brown eyes that matched that of her daughter’s from earlier. She placed a hand on his cheek, tilting his head downward for a long kiss. After, she rested her forehead against his; murmuring against his lips a promise to make up for it afterwards. Even after all these years of loving each other, sex was still the best way to bribe him into doing anything.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “But only under the condition that she is not to go back to Milliways for the next two weeks. She can’t keep breaking the rules.”

Sarah raised an eyebrow, grinning in amusement. “This coming from James Bond, the annoyance of MI-6?”

He scowled in return, only to be cut off for by kiss. Sex wasn’t only an effective bribe. It was an effective, and rather wonderful, way to silence an argument as well.

---

That night was certainly an event for the Smith-Bond family. The meal was typical, with Valerie talking more than she ate, wanting to tell her parents all about the day she had at school. Dinner, Sarah realized, was as exhausting as normal. And Valerie was too enthused by the prospect of having her very own quality time to even consider putting her to bed early. Everything leading up to the point of game night passed by quickly, too quickly for both adult Bonds. Seconds after the table was cleared, Valerie had ran back into the kitchen clutching the box to her chest.

It was Candyland time.

The game, it turned out, was simple enough. More than simple: it was simplistic. There was a winding track of a hundred and thirty four spaces in rainbow colours or representing locations and people. You had to pick a card off the stack and follow the colour or object on the card. You could move forward or backwards. Landing on the last space won the game. Sarah and James shared a look of frustration that goes straight above Valerie’s head. She’s too excited about playing a proper board game with her parents to even care.

Perhaps the biggest surprise of the night to Sarah were the occasional glimpses of smiles and laughter that would appear on James’ face. He really did try his best to remain stoic throughout the whole game. Valerie, used to her ‘grumpy daddy,’ didn’t care. But when she started giggling after landing in Gloppy’s Molasses Swamp, Sarah saw a flicker of a smile on James’ face. The smile widened when Sarah found herself meeting the same fate (this, she reminded herself, was what happened when your heart wasn’t truly into the game). It was the closest either of them would get to a full out grin that night when he won.

“Daddy, that’s not fair!” Valerie complained at the end of the game, her messy blonde hair flying as she shook her head. “You didn’t even enjoy it!”

Obviously in the five year old’s world, that individual that enjoyed the game most was the one expected to win. Sarah Jane only laughed, leaning across the table to give James a congratulatory kiss. It was only supposed to be a peck. She should have known better than to expect anything but.

Giggles were what finally broke them apart. Valerie was squirming in her seat with laughter, hands over her face. She beamed up at both of them, looking very much like the little angel that she wasn’t. “And now you and Mummy are being mushy again!”

“And now it’s time for you to get to bed,” Sarah countered with a smile. She stood, walking the short distance between seats to pick Valerie up off hers. She adjusted her daughter against her hip, planting a small kiss against her bangs. “Why don’t we get ready for bed while your father cleans up the table. That’s the true prize for the winner.”

“Aside from mummy kisses,” Valerie responded, earning another faint grin from James. She tugged on Sarah’s sleeve, her typical cue to start moving. “Nighty, Daddy!”

For such a menial and average event like playing a board game with her family, Sarah was surprised to discover it hadn’t been half bad. Maybe, if she could talk James into it, this could be something to do once a month. Although, they would have to find much more challenging games than Candyland. She chuckled to herself as she sat in the rocking chair, watching her daughter fall asleep. Who was she kidding? This was certainly a onetime event.

Still, Sarah realized that it had been worth every second of it. When a warm hand was placed on her shoulder, she looked upward to see James watching their now sleeping daughter with love in his eyes. Worth every second of it indeed.

[ooc: Clearly based on Milliways continuum.]

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Sarah Jane Smith

April 2011

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