[Milliways] OOM: James' Flat, London, 2006

[his_sarah_jane]

The seconds are moving too slowly right now.

He should have been home minutes ago. What she really needed was for him to have been back hours ago.

She had checked. Double checked and triple checked and it was all rather very clear, wasn't it? What it all meant and implied for her future. Their future.

Most of the time, Sarah Jane took life's surprises with grace and a sense of eagerness. Right now, though, she's terrified. Horribly and completely terrified that her life is about to change again and not in a way she's prepared for at all.

And so she leans back in the sofa again, closing her eyes and wishing the seconds to go by faster.

Comments

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Valerie Alice?"

Sarah takes a deep breath and nods. She wants this to be a false alarm. She doesn't want a child. But that name sounds right despite it all.

Softly, "It's wonderful."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He says nothing to agree or disagree.

His eyes close. He rests his forehead against hers.

“What’re we going to do with a baby?” he mumbles.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Her eyes close as well and her hands seek out his. "Raise it, I suppose."

That's what you do with babies after all, isn't it?

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

Their fingers interlace. He inhales breaths that don’t grant piece of mind.

“It’s been two months.”

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"I know," she whispers. "It's much too soon for anything like this."

But that's what life is, isn't it? A series of surprises that occur always when you least suspect it.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

Eyelids lift from blue eyes that stare out at Sarah Jane.

“Do you think we could do it? Raise a child together?”

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Brown eyes meet his instantly.

"I want to say that we can so much, James. This whole relationship has just gone by so fast and I wouldn't change any of it, but oh, a chid? I really don't know. I've never pictured myself a mother, you know."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

“Doesn’t mean you’d make a bad one,” he answers honestly.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

That earns a small grin. "I think you'd make a good father."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He matches the small grin, his cheeks and the edges of his eyes crinkling. “What makes you think that?”

He’d never be around. Not a honorable quality in a dad.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"The way you're handling this. The way I know the minute you," she pauses, gulping, "you see our baby, you'll love her. And because, to be honest, I think you want children more than I do. It's something you've thought about. It's not something I had ever willingly considered."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He searches her eyes for something indistinct, a concept, a truth he can’t put into words. His eyes lower, then; he presses his lips gently against her cheek.

She’s right, of course.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

She closes her eyes when he kisses her; the gesture making her feel like everything just could be alright in the world.

"You'll be an amazing father, James Bond."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

“You’d make a great mother, too,” he whispers into her ear, feeling a sudden surge of disappointment. They would never know if they were right about each other, not if this was a false alarm. And then what? Just for that moment, James wants it to be a child. He wants to have a child with Sarah Jane.

But it’s been two months. Who knew where they’d be in another two. This was just another intense love affair, for all he knew, though his love for her did not support that theory. He closes his eyes again, letting his head fall onto her shoulder.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Thank you," she replies quietly, resting her head against his. As long as they keep standing here holding on to each other, Sarah doesn't have to worry as much about what the future may bring.

It's only been two short months, but in those months she's found home with a man she loves. And as much as she doesn't want a child, as much as she's terrified of the possibility, she can get through this with him by her side.