Sarah Jane Smith (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
his_sarah_jane) wrote2007-12-09 08:40 pm
his_sarah_jane) wrote2007-12-09 08:40 pm
[Milliways] OOM: London, February 2007
“Sarah Bond?”
Sarah Jane looked up when she hears her name. She had spent most of the early morning entertaining herself through Valerie’s kicks. Breakfast had been served, but like days before, she hadn’t found herself hungry enough to eat it. Instead, the tray had been pushed to the side and remained there for the morning. Caught up in her small form of entertainment, Sarah had nearly forgotten that she was supposed to see a new doctor today.
A psychiatrist, she thought with a sigh as she looks the man over. She hadn’t had to see one of those in ten years – ever since Andrea’s death and her own case of post-traumatic shock. The man looked friendly enough. He wasn’t all that tall, with graying hair and glasses. He held a file in one hand as he closed the door behind him with the other.
“Hello,” he said as he walked closer to the bed. “And congratulations, I see. Is it a boy or a girl, or do you prefer not to know?”
“A girl,” Sarah answered quietly, placing her hands protectively on her stomach. “Valerie Charlotte.”
“A lovely name.” Then, the doctor held out a hand that Sarah shook almost reluctantly. “I’m Dr Geoffrey Traviss, a psychiatry resident here. I’ve been assigned to your case. I was told your husband brought you in? Where is he now?”
Sarah Jane shrugged, suddenly falling silent. She hated therapy the first time she had to go through it. She had a feeling it wouldn’t be any different this time.
“At work. We’re… well, we’re currently separated.”
He nods, writing down a few words in his folder. “Is there any particular reason why?”
“He doesn’t like this whole sort of domesticity idea. He’s… well, he’s uncomfortable and unhappy with it,” she explained with a sigh. “He’s used to… to much more freedom. To not settling down.”
Another nod. Then, he peered over his folder to give Sarah a concerned look. In a quiet voice, “Valerie wasn’t planned, was she?”
Sarah shook her head, bursting in to tears. She tried to bury her face in her hands, wishing that Dr Traviss would go away and she could just be left alone. But he didn’t. Instead, a box of tissues was handed to her – a box of tissues that had already been well used within the morning. He waited patiently for Sarah to calm down.
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” he said quietly. From behind the tears and tissues, Sarah saw him look at the breakfast tray. “I have written down that this isn’t the first time you’ve had therapy. Can you tell me about the first time?”
“A friend died.” Sarah still couldn’t look up. “I was thirteen and a friend talked me into playing on a pier and she fell and I couldn’t save her. I thought James would be different. I didn’t think he’d leave me too.”
“Have you been left by a lot of people? I can’t find any indications of family beyond your husband on here, Sarah.”
“Dead,” she murmured. Sarah Jane sighed. “Do we have to do this?”
“I’m afraid so,” he responded. “It’s important that you get better, not just for Valerie, but for your own sake, Sarah. And we can work on it. I promise, as soon as you start to show signs of no longer endangering yourself or your baby, you can leave. We’ll switch to out-patient sessions. But right now, we can’t let you go anywhere. Tell me, do you want to keep Valerie, Sarah?”
Yes. No. Yes. She couldn’t decide which to answer with. Finally she just sighed, hands hugging her stomach. Seven and a half months pregnant. Valerie would be here soon. “I… I don’t know. I thought so and then, then there was this and I didn’t want to but I’ve never had a child before and it’s my daughter and… I think so. Yes.”
Dr Traviss nodded. “Then we’re going to have to work together to reach that goal. We’re in the twenty-first century, Sarah Bond. Many women raise their daughters without husbands. You don’t have to be any different.”
Sarah Jane shakes her head, feeling the tears come again. “I want to be. I want my husband.”
“Sarah,” he said quietly. “You have Valerie now. Isn’t she more important?”
She shrugged. She hadn’t planned on this – on any of this. And there were so many things that she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t tell him how she had to leave her world behind or how she lost her best friend in the world because of what she had done. She couldn’t tell him how her husband was a spy and how she was fictional here. She couldn’t tell him any of this. Sarah Jane had a sinking suspicion that this would be one of the hardest things she’d ever have to do.
She hated it.
“You can do this,” he continued. “You let yourself come here and that certainly is a start. Don’t worry, Sarah. You’ll get through this. And I promise that when you’re through here, I won’t see you again for a long time.”
Sarah Jane looked up when she hears her name. She had spent most of the early morning entertaining herself through Valerie’s kicks. Breakfast had been served, but like days before, she hadn’t found herself hungry enough to eat it. Instead, the tray had been pushed to the side and remained there for the morning. Caught up in her small form of entertainment, Sarah had nearly forgotten that she was supposed to see a new doctor today.
A psychiatrist, she thought with a sigh as she looks the man over. She hadn’t had to see one of those in ten years – ever since Andrea’s death and her own case of post-traumatic shock. The man looked friendly enough. He wasn’t all that tall, with graying hair and glasses. He held a file in one hand as he closed the door behind him with the other.
“Hello,” he said as he walked closer to the bed. “And congratulations, I see. Is it a boy or a girl, or do you prefer not to know?”
“A girl,” Sarah answered quietly, placing her hands protectively on her stomach. “Valerie Charlotte.”
“A lovely name.” Then, the doctor held out a hand that Sarah shook almost reluctantly. “I’m Dr Geoffrey Traviss, a psychiatry resident here. I’ve been assigned to your case. I was told your husband brought you in? Where is he now?”
Sarah Jane shrugged, suddenly falling silent. She hated therapy the first time she had to go through it. She had a feeling it wouldn’t be any different this time.
“At work. We’re… well, we’re currently separated.”
He nods, writing down a few words in his folder. “Is there any particular reason why?”
“He doesn’t like this whole sort of domesticity idea. He’s… well, he’s uncomfortable and unhappy with it,” she explained with a sigh. “He’s used to… to much more freedom. To not settling down.”
Another nod. Then, he peered over his folder to give Sarah a concerned look. In a quiet voice, “Valerie wasn’t planned, was she?”
Sarah shook her head, bursting in to tears. She tried to bury her face in her hands, wishing that Dr Traviss would go away and she could just be left alone. But he didn’t. Instead, a box of tissues was handed to her – a box of tissues that had already been well used within the morning. He waited patiently for Sarah to calm down.
“I’m sorry, Sarah,” he said quietly. From behind the tears and tissues, Sarah saw him look at the breakfast tray. “I have written down that this isn’t the first time you’ve had therapy. Can you tell me about the first time?”
“A friend died.” Sarah still couldn’t look up. “I was thirteen and a friend talked me into playing on a pier and she fell and I couldn’t save her. I thought James would be different. I didn’t think he’d leave me too.”
“Have you been left by a lot of people? I can’t find any indications of family beyond your husband on here, Sarah.”
“Dead,” she murmured. Sarah Jane sighed. “Do we have to do this?”
“I’m afraid so,” he responded. “It’s important that you get better, not just for Valerie, but for your own sake, Sarah. And we can work on it. I promise, as soon as you start to show signs of no longer endangering yourself or your baby, you can leave. We’ll switch to out-patient sessions. But right now, we can’t let you go anywhere. Tell me, do you want to keep Valerie, Sarah?”
Yes. No. Yes. She couldn’t decide which to answer with. Finally she just sighed, hands hugging her stomach. Seven and a half months pregnant. Valerie would be here soon. “I… I don’t know. I thought so and then, then there was this and I didn’t want to but I’ve never had a child before and it’s my daughter and… I think so. Yes.”
Dr Traviss nodded. “Then we’re going to have to work together to reach that goal. We’re in the twenty-first century, Sarah Bond. Many women raise their daughters without husbands. You don’t have to be any different.”
Sarah Jane shakes her head, feeling the tears come again. “I want to be. I want my husband.”
“Sarah,” he said quietly. “You have Valerie now. Isn’t she more important?”
She shrugged. She hadn’t planned on this – on any of this. And there were so many things that she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t tell him how she had to leave her world behind or how she lost her best friend in the world because of what she had done. She couldn’t tell him how her husband was a spy and how she was fictional here. She couldn’t tell him any of this. Sarah Jane had a sinking suspicion that this would be one of the hardest things she’d ever have to do.
She hated it.
“You can do this,” he continued. “You let yourself come here and that certainly is a start. Don’t worry, Sarah. You’ll get through this. And I promise that when you’re through here, I won’t see you again for a long time.”