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[Milliways] OOM: Jamaica
Sep. 18th, 2007 06:25 pmSarah leaned against the pillows, watching James as he slept. Morning sickness had gotten her rather early this morning. Thankfully, she had gotten good about slipping out from under the covers without waking her boyfriend up. Even the pressing need to empty her stomach contents into the toilet couldn’t prevent her from stealthy sneaking out of the bed. Not given the knowledge of the reward she had now for staying quiet.
She sighed happily, propping her head up on one hand as the other followed a whispery light trail of touches down his arm. She was careful to avoid any cuts and bruises, not wanting to cause any pain. He still had a lot of healing to do. And as much as Sarah Jane usually abhorred having to play nurse, this time she didn’t mind. She was determined in every way possible to live up to every word she had spoken today. She was going to make this work and have that proper family she had secretly wanted since her parents’ deaths.
It was strange to think how much her priorities had changed in the past few months, or, if being more specific, ever since coming to Milliways. It was strange to think how content she was at the thought of spending the rest of her life with one man, this man in particular – the one lying next to her. As he shifted in the bed, Sarah smiled. She allowed him to pull her body back against his, resting her head right below his chin. Her eyes, though, remained opened. As tired as she was, thoughts simply wouldn’t go away.
Nearly a year ago, her biggest concern had only been about herself. She only really had reason to care about her life, her career, and her travels. That, and a rather eccentric alien who had quickly become her best friend. Overall, life was simple and carefree – well, when not running for her life (an unfortunate effect of police box travel, it seemed). She had imagined it would always remain that way.
It didn’t.
With a frown, Sarah studied the gimp arm beside her. She was more concerned about that arm than anything else she could think of right now. This afternoon’s fight aside, she only wanted James to get better. But a nagging voice in her head kept asking the same question again and again: what if it never healed properly? What if he was forced to take a desk job because of it? Would he grow to resent his new life, taken out by some reckless injury in his prime? Would he grow to resent her?
As much as she would have wished the father of her child to have a normal job, she never truly minded James’. It was as much a part of him as journalism was a part of her. And she’d absolutely despise it if she couldn’t write anymore. It crossed her mind to wonder when she started caring about these things. About a career that wasn’t hers and about a life that wasn’t hers either. She supposed, with quiet chagrin, that it was the result of falling rather madly in love.
Because of that wonderful and absolutely idiotic mistake, Sarah Jane no longer cared about her life as much as she cared about others’. Sure, she still cared about each day of her own life but now it was each day lived with a little more thought and a little less recklessness. Now she cared about her friends – friends aside from the Doctor that she had spent more time with than anyone else since leaving university. But more than that, she had discovered how much she cared about two individuals more than anyone else. She knew without a doubt that these were two people she’d die for. And one of them wasn’t even yet in her world.
She adored that specific individual more than anything. As much as she wished for it to be a daughter, she knew she would be just as grateful for a son. Sarah felt a love for her baby that she had never felt towards anyone before – not the Doctor, not her friends, not even James. It was fierce and overwhelming and amazing. In fact, the only sad bit about it was that James couldn’t share in it. She hoped, even prayed, that that was something that would change with the end of her pregnancy.
Closing her eyes, Sarah pulled his right hand towards her stomach, content to let it linger there. Then, she made a quick prayer to whatever was out there controlling fate (after all, given everything she had experienced, she couldn’t easily doubt the presence of some higher power) that he’d grow to love their child as much as she had.
“James,” she whispered as she snuggled closer to him under the covers. Sarah intertwined one of her legs with his, feeling comfort in their closeness. “I think I lied yesterday. About forever. I think I may want it after all.”
But he was asleep and would never have to know. They’d make it work; she was determined to see it through.
Because, it turned out, more than anything else in this world, Sarah Jane cared most about the family she had forged out. It wasn’t a family she had ever planned on having. It wasn’t legal in any sense of the word. But she loved it. She loved James and she loved their child, whoever it might grow up to be. But with yesterday’s argument still lingering fresh in her mind, she couldn’t help but be afraid that she would still be hurt someday. As she fell back asleep in James’, though, she choice not to waste another care on this train of thought again.
She sighed happily, propping her head up on one hand as the other followed a whispery light trail of touches down his arm. She was careful to avoid any cuts and bruises, not wanting to cause any pain. He still had a lot of healing to do. And as much as Sarah Jane usually abhorred having to play nurse, this time she didn’t mind. She was determined in every way possible to live up to every word she had spoken today. She was going to make this work and have that proper family she had secretly wanted since her parents’ deaths.
It was strange to think how much her priorities had changed in the past few months, or, if being more specific, ever since coming to Milliways. It was strange to think how content she was at the thought of spending the rest of her life with one man, this man in particular – the one lying next to her. As he shifted in the bed, Sarah smiled. She allowed him to pull her body back against his, resting her head right below his chin. Her eyes, though, remained opened. As tired as she was, thoughts simply wouldn’t go away.
Nearly a year ago, her biggest concern had only been about herself. She only really had reason to care about her life, her career, and her travels. That, and a rather eccentric alien who had quickly become her best friend. Overall, life was simple and carefree – well, when not running for her life (an unfortunate effect of police box travel, it seemed). She had imagined it would always remain that way.
It didn’t.
With a frown, Sarah studied the gimp arm beside her. She was more concerned about that arm than anything else she could think of right now. This afternoon’s fight aside, she only wanted James to get better. But a nagging voice in her head kept asking the same question again and again: what if it never healed properly? What if he was forced to take a desk job because of it? Would he grow to resent his new life, taken out by some reckless injury in his prime? Would he grow to resent her?
As much as she would have wished the father of her child to have a normal job, she never truly minded James’. It was as much a part of him as journalism was a part of her. And she’d absolutely despise it if she couldn’t write anymore. It crossed her mind to wonder when she started caring about these things. About a career that wasn’t hers and about a life that wasn’t hers either. She supposed, with quiet chagrin, that it was the result of falling rather madly in love.
Because of that wonderful and absolutely idiotic mistake, Sarah Jane no longer cared about her life as much as she cared about others’. Sure, she still cared about each day of her own life but now it was each day lived with a little more thought and a little less recklessness. Now she cared about her friends – friends aside from the Doctor that she had spent more time with than anyone else since leaving university. But more than that, she had discovered how much she cared about two individuals more than anyone else. She knew without a doubt that these were two people she’d die for. And one of them wasn’t even yet in her world.
She adored that specific individual more than anything. As much as she wished for it to be a daughter, she knew she would be just as grateful for a son. Sarah felt a love for her baby that she had never felt towards anyone before – not the Doctor, not her friends, not even James. It was fierce and overwhelming and amazing. In fact, the only sad bit about it was that James couldn’t share in it. She hoped, even prayed, that that was something that would change with the end of her pregnancy.
Closing her eyes, Sarah pulled his right hand towards her stomach, content to let it linger there. Then, she made a quick prayer to whatever was out there controlling fate (after all, given everything she had experienced, she couldn’t easily doubt the presence of some higher power) that he’d grow to love their child as much as she had.
“James,” she whispered as she snuggled closer to him under the covers. Sarah intertwined one of her legs with his, feeling comfort in their closeness. “I think I lied yesterday. About forever. I think I may want it after all.”
But he was asleep and would never have to know. They’d make it work; she was determined to see it through.
Because, it turned out, more than anything else in this world, Sarah Jane cared most about the family she had forged out. It wasn’t a family she had ever planned on having. It wasn’t legal in any sense of the word. But she loved it. She loved James and she loved their child, whoever it might grow up to be. But with yesterday’s argument still lingering fresh in her mind, she couldn’t help but be afraid that she would still be hurt someday. As she fell back asleep in James’, though, she choice not to waste another care on this train of thought again.
