From the Journal of Sarah Jane

Invictus – William Ernest Henley

OUT of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

She came to in the darkness.

For a brief moment, she was frightened that she had lost her sight again. That wasn’t the case this time, though. It was only dark: dark and dank and dreadful. She could not even see her own fingers in front of her face. There was a funny smell within the cell and, when Sarah moved to the right, her leg brushed by something she could only hope wasn’t what it seemed. Despite the overwhelming fear, she still felt the need to explore her surroundings. God knew what had happened to the Doctor. He was obviously not here with her; it was only her voice the echoed in the darkness. She needed to find a way out on her own.

Carefully, Sarah Jane got on all fours. Her knee creaked as she did so, and there was a sharp pain in her side. When she tried to stand, her head touched the ceiling before she could even straighten up. It hurt more to hunch over than it did to crawl so she quickly went back on to her knees. In the end, it turned out that there wasn’t much to see – or feel, as the case was. Aside from what had to be a chained body next to her, there was nothing else within the cavern. She thought that she felt what could be a trap door at the other end, where a minute trickle of light did shine through. It must have been how she got in.

As much as Sarah wanted to cry (the Sontarans had her prisoner, didn’t they?), she only pulled her knees close to her chest. She tilted her head upward and stared into the artificial night. The Doctor would come and find her. He always did. Even when she had – and took – the opportunity to rescue herself, she would meet him at some point along the way. She told herself that it would be the same this time.

For right now, it seemed impossible to find a way out. It did not seem likely that she would be able to escape on her own.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

As it turned out, her cracks in the wall were indeed an opening. She discovered as such the next day when she was rudely awoken from a restless slumber by an even grumpier Sontaran. It didn’t talk, nor answer her questions, as it reached in and grabbed her leg. The return of the sharp pain awoke her quickly. Sarah muttered in annoyance but knew better than to argue. She crawled out. The harsh light (eyes already unused to such) burned. It took minutes to adjust. In this time, she couldn’t quite make out where she was being led to. All she could do was to stumble along and talk until she got an answer. She never did get a logical one.

Instead, she was taken to a small white chamber devoid of anything but a plank-like bed with straps. She was pushed roughly towards; the shove caused her to stumble and fall this time. The Sontaran picked her up as if she weighed nothing and placed her on the slab. Sarah Jane blinked as she watched it tighten leather-like cuffs around her wrists and ankles. They were tight enough that she was certain that her circulation had been cut.

“What happened to Linx?”

She was almost surprised to hear the Sontaran talk. She was even more surprised to hear that name. It had been years in one way or another since she and the Doctor had encountered him. Why was she being asked about him now? They had encountered other Sontarans since: there was Styre on that future Earth and he hadn’t asked once.

“He’s dead,” she replied smartly. It was hard to look angry tied to a bed, though. But she was very much so, even if it was overshadowed by her worry over the Doctor. “Why would you care? I thought you lot only cared about your stupid war.”

“He was my incubation comrade in the muster parade. We served in the Fifth Sontaran Army Space Fleet together until he was attacked by a squad on Rutan fighters while on a reconnaissance mission. I had my orders and my duty to revenge. But when I returned to the hole he had landed on, all I found were traces of his ship. The savages inhabiting the area told me of a Gallifrian and his human partner in return for their lives.”

Her side still hurt. It seemed as if the room was getting brighter. If it was, the Sontaran chose not to notice. He was protected by his giant metal helmet. She had to close her eyes as her head began to ache from the light intensity.

Sarah stayed quiet. After encountering the Sontarans twice, she had never actually thought that she would cross one who almost seemed to care about another being. But there was a twinge of affection in the alien’s voice that was certainly out of place. It also frightened her to her core. They were a mad enough lot as is. She didn’t want to imagine what a Sontaran out for revenge was capable of.

“Speak, human,” it snarled, slapping her face hard enough that she tasted blood. “I demand answers.”

“Why?” She found it hard to talk. She needed to though, if she were to get free. “You already know. Just… oh, let me go, will you? We were only trying to protect our own!”

With the helmet on, she couldn’t measure its reaction to her words. She could, however, measure it in actions. It hit slapped her head again. Her neck made a horrible cracking sound as her cheek and forehead collided with the metal board. There were stars. Her head was spinning and the world felt numb around her. She blinked. She blinked again. It was hard to stay conscious, but she had had enough of the darkness within her cell.

“Let… le… go.”

She did not want to give up the fight. She wanted to struggle with her bonds. She wanted to call for the Doctor, wherever he may be. Sarah Jane had never bowed to anyone before. She had always spoken her mind, without a bit of doubt over whether she should be doing so.

The bright light was glowing dim. She tried to open her eyes again but everything around her was hazy. She could barely see the Sontaran. She could not hear the words that were echoing through his helmet. She did not see it pick up the militaristic ray gun. She did not see it aim. Sarah only felt the piercing agony as something burrowed its way into her abdomen.

She never saw the shot.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Only twice in her life had Sarah Jane Smith been afraid of death. The first time had come at the age of five, shortly after her parents had died. The second time had been at age thirteen. She had watched her best friend fall to her death off a pier. Neither time was there anything Sarah could have done to stop the incident from occurring. Yet, both times, she had been taught a valuable lesson. She had been taught just how valuable life was.

She awoke once more that day. She was still in that white room but she was no longer on the plank. The Sontaran had gone. It had been replaced by a more comforting body: that of her best friend. He held her gently in his arms. She felt the lightest brushes of his scarf on her face. Then, she felt the tears. Whether it was hers or his, Sarah could not tell. It did not matter though. She was not afraid. She had lived her life exactly as she had wanted with no one ever to tell her otherwise. There was absolutely nothing to fear.

She wanted to tell him that. She wanted to reassure him that all would be okay in the end. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. She wanted to ask him to bring her body home to her aunt. There were so many things she wanted to say. There were so many things she wanted to do. But her life was over. She knew that. And she did not mind in the slightest. In the end, her body made the choice for her. She only had the energy for three words that came out as little more than a whisper:

“Thank you, Doctor.”