[Milliways] OOM: Smith-Bond Residence, London 2007

[his_sarah_jane]

The journey back from the hospital was a quiet one. Neither, it appeared, had very much to discuss in the back of the cab James had hired to drive them home. Neither, it seemed, felt like being the first to discuss Sarah Jane's (hopefully) previous problem.

As soon as she got home (to a cat who had clearly been busy with hunting mice), the first thing Sarah did was to collapse on the couch. She was exhausted: mentally and physically. The apprehension she felt was slowly killing her all over again. But Sarah didn't know what to say. And she didn't know how to say it.

Comments

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

James leans against the nearest wall, looking down to the floor. He has something to say to her. He's just reluctant to say it.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Someone has to break the silence. She places her hands on her stomach to steady herself, trying to take relief in Valerie's presence as Dr Traviss had told her too.

"Thank you, James." Beat. "For coming and getting me."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"You're welcome."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Sarah nods absently before diverting her gaze. She ought to say something more. Maybe something reassuring?

"I promise that there won't be any more hospital trips." It's a vague attempt at conversation. Her fingers lace together as she gazes down at her baby bulge. "Except when she's born."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He grins, albeit weakly. "Sarah, I..." He ducks his head down, takes a breath, then looks at her in the eye. "I have to be on a plane tomorrow."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Her heart skips. For a moment, Sarah Jane is afraid that he's been transfered. That he's put in a request to leave England and her and never come back. Then, quickly enough, she realises that she is being irrational.

Quietly (and hopefully), "A mission?"

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He nods. "I don't know when I'll be back."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

She carefully rises to her feet, wanting to look at him clearer. "We still have about a month before she's due, James."

It's clear from her words and expression that Sarah wants him to be there no matter what.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"Well. I hope I'll be there when she's born." But he doesn't know for certain.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"I hope so too, James," she says quietly, stepping towards him to take his hand and give it a squeeze. "But if not, I understand. Your career comes first."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He gives her hand a squeeze in return.

Maybe a sign of hope. Maybe not. He really doesn't want to deal with implications so close to a mission. He just wants to pack, sleep, and leave--deal with something greater than what's going on at home.

But still.

He can't help but feel a little...pull...towards Sarah. Maybe she was right. Maybe he just needed a break.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Sarah Jane smiles softly in return.

"I'll head out to Milliways then. Give you some space to prepare for the mission."

She nods, attempting to look brave and, quite possibly, succeeding in such attempt. She moves his hand over to her stomach for a moment so he could feel a kick. When she gives him a quick peck on the lips, Sarah finds herself lingering close. She really has missed him.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to leave," he whispers, wrapping his other arm around her waist.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Are you sure?" she whispers in return as she leans her forehead against his. "I don't want to crowd you, James."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"I'm sure."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Well, if that's the case...

There will be plenty of time for words after he gets back from the mission (because there always has to be an after in her mind now or Sarah will find herself sick with worry). They can settle their differences then, perhaps. Or perhaps not. Right now, though, she wants something she's been missing so thoroughly these past few weeks:

Her mouth descends on his once again. But this time, it is no chaste kiss. It's full of all the passion, love, desire, fear, and hope that mingles inside her.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

Despite all the positive signals he's been giving, he can't fully get into the kiss. He returns it, certainly, but he doesn't linger as long as normal. It's more or less a courtesy that he returns the kiss.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

She senses that soon enough. Sarah does like to think herself rather well acquainted with his kisses after all.

Her heart falls a little, but she's careful not to shed any tears when she pulls away. That sort of thing will just lead to the spiral she had previously been on. And Sarah Jane is determined not to go through anything like that again.

She smiles softly at him, looking vaguely embarrassed at her actions. "If you'd like, I'll go prepare dinner. Something ordered from Mahal Indian so that I can nap."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"No, I'd...I'd rather pack and go to sleep."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Dinner for one then," she says softly.

Sarah needs to eat. She can't go back on her word to Valerie.

But the awkwardness seems to be back. Sarah doesn't know what to do.

"I'll take the upstairs room tonight. So you don't have to go back to that hotel."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"If you want," he says with a sigh.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

She shrugs slightly. "It's up to you, James."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

Another sigh. "I really don't care. I'm going upstairs."

Without a pause, he begins to move towards the stairs.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

He is so, so bloody difficult.

Skipping one meal won't hurt her, will it? Silently, she follows. Right now, Sarah Jane wants sleep and the blissful amnesia that accompanies it. She stops at the base, and turns to look at him.

"Do be safe tomorrow, James," she whispers quietly. "Do come back."