[Milliways] OOM: London, March 7, 2007

[his_sarah_jane]

She had received a text mere hours before. James was on his way home from his unknown destination and Sarah Jane had been more than eager (and more than nervous) to see him again. Maybe they could finally talk. Maybe they could finally figure things out. Maybe they could act like the mature adults they were supposed to be.

But fate, it seemed, had other plans.

In the midst of working on last minute preparations on Valerie's room, her water broke. Eleven days earlier than expected, Sarah and James' daughter was too impatient to wait any longer. Sarah panicked. Now she was on the way to the hospital and terrified that James might not get back at time. No matter what state their relationship was in, she wanted him to be here for this.

By the time the car service pulled in, Sarah Jane felt exhausted already. After reception and the like, she was shown to a room. The nurse reassured her that it would only be a matter of time now, that everything would be okay. But after a visit from Dr Ross minutes later, Sarah wasn't certain that everything would be okay after all. The umbilical cord whad slipped in to the birth canal ahead of Valerie. There would have to be surgery.

The nurse went out to attempt to call James again as another began to prep Sarah Jane.

Comments

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

Soon is right.

After terrorizing the streets driving like a bat out of hell, James arrives at the hospital, asks where Sarah Jane is, in a tone that's a close cousin to demanding. Soon enough he's lead to her room, just as soon as the nurse escorting him can adjust to his quick pace, which won't slow down for her or anyone.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

The fear washed from her eyes the moment he walked into the room. She reached out a hand quickly, ignoring the scolding from the nurse for pulling at the IV.

"James!"

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He can't help it. He smiles back at her, quickening his already quick pace to be at her side. He grabs her hand and clasps it tightly in hers. "Well, this is a surprise."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

She squeezed his hand back just as tightly. "You're telling me. I would say it hurts, but you just missed the anesthesiologist."

Sarah forced a smile on her face, trying to make it seem as if it was all a joke. But even with James holding her hand, the fear came rushing back. A tear escaped her eye as she looked up at him. Quietly, "I'm glad you made it."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

James reaches out to brush away the tear. "I'm glad I made it, too," he says, just as quietly. "How do you feel?"

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Frightened," she answers, relieved to finally say that word. "They say they have to operate, although I suppose you already know that. The umbilical cord's slipped out too soon and Valerie could crush it if I give birth to her naturally."

She really is panicked. Not as much as before, now that her husband is here. But Sarah's never much liked hospitals or operations. Let alone the whole, becoming a parent idea is suddenly becoming far too real.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He moves his hand up to her bangs, brushing them away from her forhead. "Don't worry, Sarah. They'll take care of you."

He blinks, realizing at that moment how much he had missed her overseas.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Mr Bond?"

That same nurse interrupts Sarah before she even has a chance to reply. Sarah blinks as she walks over, another hospital employee behind her.

"Mrs Bond, Dr Ross believes that we ought to operate soon before natural labour sets in. If you don't mind, Mr Bond, we can lead you to the waiting room outside the O.R."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"All right." He looks at Sarah one last time, pats the hand he holds in his hand, and allows himself to be lead to the waiting room.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Sarah Jane frowns as she watches him go. Obviously, she doesn't want him to leave. But she'd much rather face the operating room alone, knowing that he'll be waiting for her when it's all said and done with.

Shortly after he leaves, she is wheeled out on the bed and down the hall. They reach the O.R. sooner than Sarah prefers and before she really has a chance to settle in to these new surroundings, final preparations begin. More anesthesia is given and a curtain is set along her waist so she doesn't have to see the c-section be performed.

It's a relief. But Sarah would still rather be unconscious.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

James, meanwhile, stalks about in the waiting room. He can't sit, or maybe he doesn't want to sit. Stalking is better, pacing a hole in the floor, the fake-marble tiled floor he's stared at in countless hospitals and offices and other such sterilized buildings all over the world. They all seem to have the same floor.

It's really happening, isn't it? He wants to break out into a grin. He does--a quick, mad grin, accompanied by a clenched fist. He pushes that hand through his hair, still staring at the floor, his black shoes stepping on the faint grey lines separating the tiles. Had it really been just a few hours since he left his last mission? And now here he was, in the hospital, his daughter about to be born... His daughter. Did he even deserve one? Whether he did or not, he was going to have one.

A daughter. A daughter. He'd have to raise her, feed her, watch her--what the hell? What was he getting himself into? No, no, why did he even agree--but maybe it wouldn't be so bad, maybe...maybe...

Oh, hell. He didn't know. He sat heavily into a chair. Jumped back up seconds later, as if he had felt a pin on his backside. Back to pacing, now glaring at the seat, now staring at the wall, thinking maybe he could see through it, see Sarah, maybe that'd clear up his mind...

Damn, he wish he hadn't given up smoking!

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

When the first cut is made, all Sarah Jane can feel is a tug above her pubic bone. It's a rather strange sensation. Stranger, she thinks, than anything else she has ever experienced. Despite all the scratches and bruises she accumulated travelling with the Doctor, it had been years since the last time she had needed stitches. As much as she tried to focus on the oddness of the feeling, it wasn't enough.

All she could think about was what was going on. Sarah Jane had, like any curious reporter, investigated all the possible modes of birth. She had read about the cutting and the careful removal of the baby, followed by the placenta. Even though Sarah had not planned on this sort of birth, she knew.

It doesn't make it any more comfortable. With every slight tug at her skin, she grws more and more impatient. Isn't it time? Wodn't Valerie be here soon? All she wants was to hold her daughter, see the girl with her own eyes. As afraid as she is of the reality of parenthood, she's been anticipating this moment for so long.

She'll be a mother soon enough. The thought echoes in her head. A mother.

It seems to take forever for Dr Ross to cut into the uterus wall. Yet, Sarah Jane doesn't even realise the cut has been made until a loud wail pierces the room. The baby - her baby - is held high enough for Sarah to see. Even bloody, she thinks that the girl (it is a girl, Dr Ross confirms in the background) is absolutely gorgeous. It's her baby, her and James'.

The umbilical chord is cut and, after showing the girl to an impatient Sarah once more, Valerie leaves her mother's sight to be pampered and introduced to her father.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

James is still pacing a hole in the floor by the time they bring in Valerie.

Suddenly, the floor is saved, peace prevails, and James finds himself thoroughly distracted and enchanted by a beautiful girl. Same old story, only difference is: she's his daughter.

He takes her in his arms and stares, smiles, isn't aware he's smiling until he feels the soreness in his face that only comes from grinning.

He likes Valerie. He likes Valerie an awful lot.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Valerie's wide blue eyes stare up at the man holding her, unaware of the nurse standing nearby. Unlike in the O.R., she's quiet and curious. There isn't any need to yell. Being held is good.

She does squirm a little, though, as she tries to make herself more comfortable in his arms.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

Her eyes: they're just like his. And even in this form, still to develop into much more, he can point out what features she's drawn from Sarah and which she's drawn from him. It's remarkable, really. Remarkable.

And he has to see her grow. He has to raise her. Feed her. Take care of her.

Maybe when she's out of his arms, he'll start panicking about it.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Sir," the nurse finally interrupts. "Sir, if you'd like, we could move you into the room your wife will be brought to after the surgery is finished. She's doing fine, but it'll still take a bit to finish up the surgery. And it will be better for your child if we move to a more sterile environment."

Valerie turns her head slightly at the new voice before deciding to hide against James. He's safe. She likes him.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"All right," he replies. Anything, anything. That's all he can think. He'll do anything for this little girl.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

The nurse smiles as she carefully leads James down the hall. She keeps an eye on the newborn child all the while. The baby girl certainly seems healthy enough, despite being born early. Still, it didn't hurt to be cautious.

Finally, they enter a room in the maternity ward. "Your wife will be in here for the night. For now, you and your daughter can take a seat. If you spot her having troubles breathing or any other health problems, please signal a nurse immediately. She may be large for her birth time, but she still is premature."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"All right," he replies, taking a seat. Somehow, he couldn't bring himself to nod. That would obscure the view of his daughter, who he can't keep his eyes off of.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

The minutes it takes for Dr Ross to sew up the incisions seem to drag on. Sarah only wants to see her child again. She wants to see James' reaction to their daughter. But apparently her health comes first. In Sarah Jane's opinion, that isn't fair at all.

She nearly jumps in excitement when she hears the snipping of scissors. Dr Ross assures Sarah that they're almost done. She can see Valerie again soon. She can see James again soon, too. It would be a lie to say that she wasn't at all apprehensive. But her excitement weighs over all other emotions.

Finally, the time comes that Sarah is carefully placed into a wheelchair and brought to her recovery room. She waves almost shyly at James as the attendant helps to transfer her from the chair to the bed. Sarah Jane doesn't like feeling dependent like this. There's a slight blush on her cheeks when she finally does look at James. But it's quickly hidden by a smile when she sees the bundle in his arms.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

James rises and sits on the edge of the bed, turning Valerie towards Sarah.

"She's beautiful," he says.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Her eyes fill with tears when she sees the blue eyes of her daughter staring back at her. Valerie had awoken from her short nap in James' arm at all the moving and the presence of a new person. She stares at Sarah with the same curiosity she had earlier regarded James with. It causes her to giggle and then wince at the dull pain in her stomach.

"She is," Sarah whispers, reaching out a hand to stroke Valerie's head. She likes this. She likes seeing her daughter in James' arms and the smile on his own face. It's her family. She has her family. "She's ours."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"She is."

Pause.

"Are you feeling okay?"

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

She nods, smiling as she caresses Valerie's cheek. The baby's eyes close again.

"I'm sure it'll start hurting soon enough." Sarah shrugs, finally glancing up at James. After all this, she can't bring herself to be afraid of the pain. "I love you."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

James shifts closer to her on the bed, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He leans in and kisses her on the cheek. "I love you, too," he says quietly.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Sarah beams up at him for a moment, carefully taking Valerie from him. She lifts her head up for a second to kiss him on the corner of his lips before settling against his chest.

Now, her attention falls on the bundle in her arms. Valerie is awake again, making small sounds as she stares up at this new person. Sarah tilts her daughter upward to give her forehead a kiss.

Then, she murmurs softly: "I am so, so sorry for everything, Valerie darling."

Because her daughter is perfect. This moment is perfect.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

James buries his lips in her hair, kissing her gently, then whispering: "I'm sorry, too."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

She smiles wryly at that. When she finally does tear her eyes away from Valerie, there is forgiveness in them.

He needs space. He needs to adjust. And she needs to stop pushing.

"Will you be coming home then? For good, that is. I know it's empty now, but Valerie and I will be there before the week is up and, well... James, if you still want your family, you have it."

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"I am coming back."

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Sarah Jane nods absently. That's enough of an answer for her right now. She smiles again, happy and content in this small room. Quietly, she moves his free hand to rest gently on top of Valerie's. Sarah slips her hand underneath and smiles again.

"Thank you. Not just for that, but for everything."

For Valerie.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

He kisses her head again, closing his eyes, breathing easy. "You're welcome, darling. I love you. Everything's going to be better from now on."

Though he doesn't know if that will be true.

But he dearly hopes that it will.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

"Or as well as it can be, given who we are," she responds before kissing Valerie's forehead and James' hand. "We can try harder than we did. And that's by far enough for me if it means I get you two."

Sarah is not so naive anymore to believe a simple statement like his. But, in her opinion, trying is so much more than they've done. She can live with that. She has her family now, for however long possible.