[Milliways] OOM: Jamaica

[his_sarah_jane]

The door from Milliways opens to a small but posh beach house, one the perfect size for two people. After spending the past month stuck in a bar at the end of the universe, Sarah Jane quickly considers it the most beautiful place that she's ever seen. She can hear the ocean surf beating against the sand and the salt air smells wonderful.

Now this, she decides, is the sort of place a pregnant woman should live. Morning sickness has since abated for the day and she feels absolutely wonderful. Placing her bag down by the closet door, Sarah turns to smile brightly at James. It's rather clear from her face that she considers it the best vacation ever. And if not:

"I absolutely love it."

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[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

"Sarah," he says, after taking in a breath, "I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I need you to calm down." Or stop talking, more like, but that's ruder. The truth is he can't think about this as long as she keeps trying to talk him into or out of it.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

Sarah winces, not at his words but her own actions. Pregnancy is absolutely not fun. Be it the physical effects or emotional ones. Especially the emotional ones sometimes.

"Sorry."

She then falls quiet and closes her eyes, stretching one arm over his chest.

[callitavesper.livejournal.com]

With quiet thus achieved, James can finally think about how much he doesn't want to think about this. He would much rather sit it through and see what happens. The problem with this is that it might not work so well with impending parenthood. You can't just have a baby and "see what happens." Children don't develop on their own; they require constant cultivation from their parents. And the concept of constant anything has remained elusive for James.

Yet Sarah Jane, brave woman that she is, seems ready to do whatever it takes to raise this child, even if it means doing it on her own. It wouldn't be fair to up and leave her, would it? And she knows the risks--or at least he hopes she knows the risks. If there's anyone who's up to the challenge of raising his child, it's Sarah.

The question is: does he want a child?

He remembers how wonderful, and terrible, it was when Sarah Jane first thought she was pregnant. They had grown closer, so close that he wanted to marry her. Was that the case now? No, the case now was that he'd finished a mission, he was cut and bruised and patched-up everywhere, his left arm didn't work and he wanted to rest until he healed. The case now was that he didn't have the energy to think about tomorrow, not when, yesterday, he thought he wouldn't see today. A child meant thinking about the future, something he made a habit of avoiding.

Saying nothing, he closes his eyes, hoping to drift off. Maybe when he wakes up he'll have an idea of what he wants.

[his-sarah-jane.livejournal.com]

The only sound Sarah makes as he thinks is a small and tired yawn. For the first time since he left, she feels safe again. Safe enough to drift off to sleep without a single worry. For once, she doesn't think about the horrible nausea that tends to accompany waking up. She doesn't think about how falling asleep now means waking up to another uncertain day tomorrow.

She has James again, at least for now. It's always been comfortable in his arms. But right now, Sarah Jane feels a contentment she has never felt before. It's the contentment of being with the man she's truly come to consider family as their child grows and develops inside of her. It's a feeling of home she doesn't think she's ever felt before.

And with that, it's only a few minutes before Sarah Jane truly does fall asleep. Happy.